The Original Super-Long Paper (Sins Paper)

I believe that this paper is better for not having a lengthy introduction or a definite conclusion.  Really the conclusion is the last sentence. The sudden end to the paper will make the reader reflect more on the last sentence which is what I want.  To be honest, this paper is not written for others to read.  It is a cleaver story about over-the-top fictional gym that can't really be related to life at large.  I enjoy reading my own work but I doubt that anyone else would like to read this paper, the length is daunting.  I did improve on Betty Rage and Betty More by adding some length and cut some length off Betty Snotty and did some general clean up but other than that not much changed.

All Seven Deadly Sins Committed at a Gym

 If you were to look into the Wayne County Workout Center (WCWC), a glorified name for a gym, you would see nothing unusual, unless you count seven women with the same names that should go to confession for their sins unusual.

            See, look over there and you will see Betty White.  Her real name is Betty Smith but everyone calls her Betty White because there were seven Betties in the town and because she is perpetually wearing a white shirt.  This would be a good thing except that it makes her very white blond hair and pale skin fade into the background of the white gym walls.  You wouldn’t see her if you just glanced in.

            You also wouldn’t see her because she never moves.  She only joined the gym to get her husband to stop nagging her about getting in better shape.  “You look like a blob!” he would yell at her unmoving face where she sprawled on the couch.  So she would slowly blink, slowly rise, and then slowly walk to the gym next door to her house where she would plop down in the cushioned stool in the corner by the door and sit there and rest for hours before reversing the process. 

She was the joke of the gym, most people know she is there and make jokes at Betty White where she sat leading against the white walls.  Most of them wouldn’t even bother to move out of her earshot to do so.

The most ostentatious and creative of the insulters was Betty Snotty.  Her real name was Betty Whin but everyone called her Betty Snotty behind her back because, well, she was.  She would flounce into the gym to be meeting by her group of admirers who would be waiting for her.  All her so called admirers actually hated her but would never show it because to leave the Betty Snotty admirers would be social suicide.  So day after day her admirers strove to be good sheep and never let on that they hated her.

They would even laugh at her jokes at Betty White no matter how stupid they got.  “She wears white, she is white, you know I bet she even breathes white.” All her admirers would give a few fake laughs. 

Always encouraged by her followers she gave a quiet sigh of contentment “No one can put things in perspective like me, I’m the best!  I don’t even know why the gym manager allows people like her to work in the same gym as me.  Actually why work out at all? Everyone should give their full attention to me.”  This was followed by general murmurings of consent

But secretly she felt a tiny twinge of unease because some of her followers, especially the males, did not in fact give her their full attention because they were watching someone else.

Across the gym from her Betty Boob was doing push-ups.  She had another name but no one remembered it.  She was quiet and never spoke to anyone because she spoke with her body.  Knowing full well that she was hot in every definition of the word she would put on a little sexual show every time she came to the gym.  She enjoyed the power that she felt every time she saw people staring at her skimpy sweat covered body.

She finished her push-ups and slowly stood up sliding her arms along her body till they were over her head as she stretched for the sky.  Most every male eye in the room was on her and she enjoyed it to much too ever give it up.  The one exception to her domain of power, the one person who did not pay any attention to her, was Betty Food. She drew comfort from the fact that no one cared about her any more than they did Betty White so she would languidly pick up her pair of dumbbells and continue her show.

Betty Food was oblivious to almost everything.  She had just as much girth as Betty White but was much more energetic.  She always turned all her attention onto her food.  Each day she would bring a giant dinner into the gym and eat it. She came in, started eating, finished eating and left.  Although she never exercised the patron of the WCWC never threw her out because she paid enormous sums of money to the gym in “donations”, otherwise known as bribes.

She was another person that no one liked because she was always yelling things.  Her short mousy hair would nearly stand up as her scrunched up face would consume another bite of hot dog.  She would open up her mouth wider than you would think possible and yell “Are you hungry?!  Anyone want any hot dog!?” into the room at no one in particular.  “Because if you do it’s to bad because I have some and you don’t!” Most of the normal people would roll their eyes and continue to work out, they all knew better than to say anything to her.

When she was finished she would reach her pudgy hands into her lunch bag and say “There’s no more! THERE’S NO MORE!!! Did you steal it?! Did you or you?!”  Then she would toddle her enormous persons around the room and accuse everyone except Betty Boob and Betty Snotty (who she would ignore) of stealing her food.  Then she would storm out of the room and everyone would heavy a sigh.  It was over until tomorrow when Betty Food would be back again.

There was one person in the store who wanted Betty Food’s hot dog because she wanted everything.  Betty Want, as she was called, really wanted everything.  She wanted the best pair of dumbbells, the best spot in the room.   Those were the easy ones; people would just give her anything she asked for and thereby bypass the huge fit that would otherwise follow.

No, it was the things that Betty Want wanted that she couldn’t have that made everyone suffer and hate her.  She would bounce over to Betty Boob and say very calmly in a rather little girlish voice “I want to have a body like yours.” 

Betty Boob slowly looked up from her position stretching on the ground. “To bad, work harder.” Then bent her head back dawn to resume stretching.

“But I want a body like yours now! NNNNOOOOWWW!!!!!!!”  She would then proceed to stamp her feet, yell, and throw things until the clock struck 8:00 then she would transform into a sweet little girl and thank the owner of the gym and calmly walk out.

Usually that was when Betty Rage would start.  First it would be a bench that was not clean, then a lack of dumbbells.  Any imperfection would set her off; sometimes she would go off for no reason at all. When ever something did set her off she would start throwing fists.  She was a very average woman but her eye sight was terrible and she had no more glasses because she broke them all.  Therefore she had such bad aim she would rarely hit anyone or anything she swung at.  The danger came from collateral damage so most steered clear of her general direction. 

Sometimes the manager would call the police to come and pick Betty Rage up, but it never came to anything because, like Betty Food, Betty Rage used her money to get out of paying the consequences for what she had done.  The manager would revoke her membership but she would just show up again and do the same things as before so he just reinstated her membership because that way at least he was getting some reimbursement for the trouble Betty Rage caused.

Shortly after the manager got one or two of the stronger men members to help him expel Betty Rage from the gym he would have to go over and attempt to get some dumbbells away from Betty More.  Everyday Betty More would get as many exercise materials as possible and horde them. She never used them, never exercised, and would never move from her horde if the gym never closed. 

If you really wanted something all you have to do is go to her corner get it and make a very fast retreat because Betty More would not stray far from her horde of dumbbells for anything because she was constantly paranoid that others would “steal” them from her.  Routinely, about every fifteen minutes, the manager would walk over grab a few and run away, then had them out to others who would actually use them.
That night after closing the manager stepped back for a moment and surveyed the room, there were seven points in the room that drew his focus.  Betty White's stool, Betty Snotty's traditional place by the window, Betty Boobs still sweat covered mat, Betty Food's discarded food rappers and bags,  the clock that dictated Betty Want's tantrums, the marks on the wall where Betty Rage's misplaced anger had been taken out, and the former "horde" of dumbbells that was Betty More's prized possessions.  He sighed, closed his eyes, and imagined how much easier his life would be if there were no Betties.